welcome sweet friends to a lil space where i share thoughts with scripture to back it up. happy december 22! may this last week be filled with anticipation and excitement for the Savior’s birth! i know that brings joy to these coming days but before that it’s a rather blue season for individuals. i’ve shared this before but i lost my father christmas eve 2005. every year i take to my “space” to share my vulnerability with a bit of biblical encouragement to proceed it. i pray the Lord can be near and His word is proclaimed before mine.

it’s been 15 years since i lost you in my life. it would be a complete understatement if i said i didn’t miss you. that’s a certainty in my life. there’s been a lot of moments where i wish you could give me your “atta boy”. after a year of working towards it, i got my ged! what a moment that i celebrated and i’m thankful for God that through prayer anything is possible (matthew 19:26). i applied to moody bible institute to start my path towards vocational ministry. i’ll be starting in the fall and i’m enthused with joy about it. there’s just that missing piece that i pray everyday could see this all come into fruition — my dad. i remember seeing an old picture and just looking at it like i’m a direct mirror of you. it makes me miss you even more but i’m resting in this — you’re in Paradise with our Heavenly Father. you’re in the presence of the ultimate Giver. do i wish you could be here when i’m going through God’s glorious will? absolutely. but it must be beautiful to know you’re in the presence of the Creator, the Almighty One, and our Everlasting Father. knowing you’re with Jesus brings me ease and serenity.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (1 corinthians 1:3-4)

i will not lie that this time can get a bit blue. i do erupt in tears some nights and my heart can get overwhelmed with grief. especially on christmas eve when he passed away. you’d think after 15 years, grief might be easier but it just isn’t. every passing year is harder and causes more heaviness when it’s the christmas season. but let me tell you this: it’s so reassuring to find comfort in my Savior. when i let my emotions race and tears roll down my face, i remember my Savior’s love and peace blankets my grief. in the midst of my “blues”, i know who my God is and i recognize the beauty of His holiness and serene love. He cares. He cares beyond comprehension and that’s evident in 1 peter 5:6-7.

if i could offer one piece of biblical encouragement to those feeling long nights of sadness — CRYING IS BIBLICAL! this is shown through john 11:35 “Jesus wept.” Jesus, our Savior who’s fully man and fully God, wept in response to the grief experienced by Mary and Martha in regards to Lazarus. He grieved because sin was heavy in one’s heart. He just simply grieved. i explain this short verse with context because it shows the deeper meaning and justification behind the weeping. Our God is emotion filled and compassionate towards ones needs. He won’t neglect yours nor disregard them. you are not alone through this “blueish” time and He’s walking through this with you step by step, hand by hand, and tear by tear. it’s okay to be authentic and vulnerable with Jesus, He cares about what weights down your heart and our weaknesses are shined brightly when He is most glorified. amen and amen.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 corinthians 12:9-10)

“I know nothing which can so comfort the soul; so calm the swelling billows of sorrow and grief; so speak peace to the winds of trial, as a devout musing upon the subject of the Godhead” — charles spurgeon